How to Check If Someone Is Giving You a Bad Reference

When you think you need to check if someone is giving you a bad reference, two circumstances come to mind (and we cover both here - and oddly enough the solutions are remarkably similar).

The first circumstance is the evil former employer work reference. The second is a contractor or other new business partner reference. While these may seem like completely different cases with no relationship whatsoever, the causes for concern and actions needed for solution are quite similar.

Once a Chump, Forever Will You Be Defending Yourself from Being a Chump
The reason you are having fear at all is that you've been taken advantage of in the past. This means that you have either been the victim of bullying or malice from someone who knew they wouldn't be held accountable by you or anyone they were concerned with. Sadly, once this happens to you once, you may as well put a "kick me" sign on your back for the rest of your life because everyone will see you are an easy mark. There is hope however...

The Solution Is Just As Simple As The Cause...
The reason you are are subject to abuse is because you are an easy mark. You trust, you rely on the good nature of others, you take people at face value. So the solution is to not be an easy mark.

How do you do this?

What is it that every bully fears? Getting beat up by a bigger bully. What is it that every boss or business owner fears? People who know more than they do. Does this mean you go hire Vinny with the bat to pay a visit to your old boss? No. What it does mean is that you demonstrate you have POWER to defend yourself from abuse - and it's way easier than you think. Here is where the paths of the job seeker and business partner (see below) diverge. We'll tackle the job seeker first.

How to Check If Someone Is Giving You a Bad Refence As a Job Seeker:
Honestly, it is against the law for employers to give bad references because of the immense power they wield relative to the person seeking new employment. Unfortunately for too many employers and managers, the law is an inconvenience to them - particularly when it indirectly benefits them to hurt your chances at finding new work (keeps you "cheap" and "desperate").

The truth is it can be very hard to check if someone is giving you a bad reference, and you can do yourself some real harm if you get caught. So rather than play games on his rules by his terms, play in the arena where you as a job seeker will win EVERY-SINGLE-TIME: in the legal world.

Does This Mean I Sue My Previous Employer?
Nope. That costs money which you don't have and will have difficulty proving. BUT what it does mean is that you look up the home address of the plant manager and talk a lawyer friend into writing (and signing) a letter for you saying to the effect "I and my client (that's you) have reviewed (Client's name) exit interview paperwork and are satisfied with the terms of the separation. Signed Bob Z. Lawyer, Esq. Atty."

Deliver the Message - Right Where They Live
Then have a courier hand deliver it to their home address. Believe me, that plant manager will get the message: I have an attorney, and I know where to serve you with legal paperwork (a.k.a. I know where you live). If you really have balls, take the opportunity in the letter to ask for a signed letter of reference. That'll fix your problem but good.

You've done absolutely nothing wrong by taking this simple step, and you've demonstrated that you know the law is on YOUR side, and you have Vinnie the attorney advising you to represent you should the plant manager or other management representative cause you trouble.

Showing Power and Demonstrating You Know Their Weakness Levels the Playing Field
At this point, you shouldn't have to check if someone is giving you a bad reference, because believe me that plant manager is going to make sure everyone behaves correctly. Fat cat plant manager jobs are tough to come by, and someone else's petty grievance with you isn't worth them losing their job (due to lawsuit) over it. You've forced them to behave because you've demonstrated you know where they are vulnerable.

How to Check If Someone Is Giving You a Bad Reference: Business Contract
You have to check if someone is giving you a bad reference when doing business with someone new - it should be just a matter of course. The first time you meet someone or do business with someone the person you are working with is sizing you up. Questions that will inevitably go through their minds are things like:

• If things go bad in our business deal, will I be able to get the upper hand in salvaging what's left?
• Is this person going to believe everything I say?
• Can I take liberties with the truth about expenses, work done, time spent, etc.
• If I get the contract, can I work the terms so that I maximize my legal leverage without promising anything in return?
• Can I get something for nothing from this person?

Don't Be Mad At Human Nature - Recognize It and Protect Yourself
Nobody wants to believe the worst in people but even the best people I know won't bat an eye about taking advantage of someone who is a push-over - and believe me the first time you meet somebody new they are already assessing whether you are gullible, soft, slow, or weak. Don't blame people for this - it's simply human nature.

What To Do To Fight Back
You have to stand your ground from day one - and that means verifying basic facts about the person you are dealing with. Does it mean check every last detail? No. What it DOES mean is push back by testing the person's knowledge, verifying they are who they say they are. If they give you references you need to check if someone is giving you a bad reference. "How?" you ask? The answer is to verify references and being crafty about how you do it.

Here's how I try to trip up would be "users" - for lack of a better word.

1. Get a couple of personal or (preferably) professional references from them
2. Take the references and compare them to a cheap public records database for accuracy
• Did they make a mistake on an address or phone number?
• Are the phone number references given registered to different people than who they listed? (****hint**** this is a HUGE warning sign - take heed!)
3. If the reference information matched public records databases, were you able to reach the people listed?
• Try to trip the reference person on the phone up. Confirm their address with them but give them the wrong address - switch street number digits for example - make it look innocent (93 Main St becomes 39 Main St., etc)
• Ask about how long they've known your potential new business partne
• Ask what projects they've done and their level of satisfaction
4. Honestly - almost nobody gives out a reference that will give a bad review but if you call someone who gives a bad reference - RUN!
• Ask if you can see some of the work, if appropriate
• Visit the work site, if permitted (is it clean, good work? Did they leave unfinished business?)
• Ask if the job was completed on time and on budget

Finding Information Before You Sign the Deal Is PARAMOUNT
If you sign a deal before doing your homework... don't come crying to me. You got what you deserved. Do what you can (a la the job seeker above) to serve notice about your willingness to take legal action but be advised: you are in a MUCH WEAKER POSITION than the job seeker.

The Bottom Line: Stop Being a Chump
Don't be lazy. If you are a job seeker, don't check if someone is giving you a bad reference - fire a legal warning shot across their bow before they get a chance to give you a bad reference!

If you are a entering into a business contract: get information and check the d*** facts! Don't be lazy and stop blaming others for taking advantage of you. People walk on you because you are a doormat. Forgive yourself for things that have gone on in the past, and stop being a whipping post. Use your mind and the information at your fingertips to show you are not gullible and that you check up on people. Fear of being caught is the only tool you have to keep people honest. If you suspect someone is phony - RUN! LEAVE! DON'T-SIGN-ANYTHING! and DON'T GIVE SECOND CHANCES!